I just caught myself…

…reading one of my own blog posts to cheer me up… And it worked!

Which is good, cuz I really needed it.

But wait, if I’m using my past self to cheer up my present self, then who’s gonna cheer up my future self?

My present self!

Hey future self– you know how bad you’re feeling right now, and how much worse it is than how I’m feeling right now (which is still pretty bad)? Well guess what– we both still have the physical and cognitive abilities required to read and write, because I’m writing and you’re reading it! So that’s something! We could both be blind dyslexic dead zombies instead, and that would suck. Although then we’d be able to eat brains, and not just have cancer in them.

Which brings me to a point: If I became a zombie, would I prefer eating cancerous brains? If so I’m actually ready to start, as I was just given a little box filled with slices of my own real brain chance!

A lil' Hong Kong tumor slice'll do ya if you're a zombie lookin to eat your own cancer brains!

A lil’ Hong Kong tumor slice’ll do ya if you’re a zombie lookin to eat your own cancer brains!

As I’m becoming desperately broke, these may soon end up for sale on eBay. Get your biddin’ fingers ready!

I’m pretty sure one of these slices holds my memory of roller skating on Mars (granted, this memory may have been generated in a dream). But that’s gotta be worth something, doesn’t it?

Brains for sale! Fresh sliced Chad’s brains for sale!

(NOTE: That picture does actually show a pathology slide with my real brains inside it. In the event that anything suspicious ever happens to me, please use the DNA contained within to recreate a new version of myself who can avenge whatever horrible fate befell me. Or… actually just a regular alive me with no brain cancer would be nice. I’d settle for that.)

Brains for sale! Real smart brains for sale!