Minimize My Morbidity!

The 4th Quadrennial meeting of the World Federation of Neuro-Oncology is being held in SanFrancisco at this very moment.

Where's the brain?

Where’s the brain?

(They should have hired me to do their logo.  How there is no giant glowing brain on the far side of the bridge makes absolutely no fucking sense.)

At this very moment, I am missing “The Sunrise Sessions” (wasn’t that a lost Fleetwood Mac album?) which include the following lectures:

Sunrise Session 1: Maximal Safe Resection of Glioma – Current Techniques

– Maximizing Extent of Resection for Gliomas while Minimizing Morbidity, Mitchel Berger
– Current Concepts in the Resection of Glioblastomas: Why Do We Do It and How Do We Do It?, Walter Stummer

Minimizing Morbidity?  
Why Do We Do It and How Do We Do It!?

I’m not making this shit up folks, THIS is how hilarious the world of brain tumors is.
(Or am I the only one who finds it this funny?)

I ‘ll tell you WHY you do it– so I don’t die!
I won’t tell you how you do it though– that part I still suspect is at least 45% magical.

I’m not sure there’s a conference in the world I’d rather be at (and would be more enthralled by) than the WFNO Sunrise Sessions.  When you get cancer in your brain, you tend to become a bit of a nerd about it.  Why aren’t they live streaming this shit, like they do all the stupid Apple product announcements?  As a brain cancer sufferer (owner? host unit?) we should all get a direct feed into our head of the goings on at this conference.

If anybody is reading this and is there at the conference with an iPhone 5S, I would happily accept a FaceTime live stream of this particular Sunday Sunrise Session:

Sunrise Session 2: Minimizing Side Effects From Radiation

– Cocaine, Codeine and Caffeine: Isn’t It Time To Just Wake Them The Fuck Up?  Charlie Breda
– Can We Modify the Risk of Cognitive Impairment, or Should We Just Tell Them How Stupid They’re Gonna Get?  Prakesh Jai’alai
– Is It Fair to Characterize Brain Beams As Life-Saving Double Rainbows? Jerome McDougle

OK it’s possible that I made those ones up.  But I can’t be blamed, after all– I have a hole in my brain.  Who knows what those phantom neurons are up to anymore–  I certainly can’t be held responsible.

And by the way–  If I’m still around in 4 years, will somebody please inform me that this conference is happening BEFORE it actually starts happening?   I should have a really cracking brain cancer standup routine by then, and would be more than happy to deliver it as the opening Keynote.

3 thoughts on “Minimize My Morbidity!

  1. love your posts. Mitch Berger was my husband’s surgeon last year and did a 90%ish resection with minimal side effects after other surgeons suggested the tumor was inoperable.
    If you don’t already subscribe to virtual trials.org check them out. Heads up on the conference was there and sure to be comments.

  2. This post, for some reason, makes me think – again – about why we don’t get interviewed from some doctor on our teams all the the things (good or bad) that us braincancerites might share. I eat a lotta fruit, I stutter (always did), I shower a couple of times a week, not every day, etc., etc. Don’t research docs/scientists wanna know what we share? Maybe we should put together our own meetings/dinners for people like us to meet up and share. Again, I love this blog. Thanks again. -Jordan

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