As much as you know you have to, it’s just hard having to convince yourself every single day to keep going, to keep doing this.

It’s just hard, and I’m just tired.  I’m tired of it sometimes.  Like right now.

And I’m quite sure I’m not the only one.

And I guess this is why we seek, and need, inspiration.

Because it’s hard.  It’s hard to keep your face and your feet pointed forward, unrelenting, despite the raging swirl of fear and uncertainty that licks at your heels, and perhaps undermines the entire path you think you are walking on.

This is why, I suppose, it’s important that we lift each other.

Since in those moments, when life is coming to us with ease, and with beauty (those moments do come; several of them came to me yesterday), we can create a reflection of that experience– that utterly bearable lightness of being that sails through our soul like a cool drink or a child’s laughter– to remind others who are struggling that it will not always be so.

This is what inspiration is.

It can take many forms: some as simple as a smile, some as elaborate as a song, or a painting, a movie, a joke, a heroic act, or an entire lifetime built from bricks like these.

Whatever form it takes, inspiration is a reminder — a missive sent back to Earth from the outpost of Ease — that things will not always be so.

You will laugh, again.  You will love, and be loved.  You will be moved by a song, brought to tears by a joke, deeply touched by an act.  You will be rendered speechless by something you see in nature that stretches credibility with its raging, searing, and utterly surprising beauty.

These things will come to you again.  Your burden will not always be so.  And rest, assured, it is shared by all of us.

So let us complain, together, to the world, to the wind, with a deep and honest sigh.

For it is hard.

But it is, also, beautiful.

And it will always be so, again.



(Here’s proof: after writing this, I just inspired myself, and was brought to tears, by something that someone did forty-five years ago.)

7 thoughts on “Inspiration

    So, please please please keep going – if not just for you – do it for us too…
    You know it can be hard but you know it’s worth it. Everything will be fine.
    Hope to see you soon. I miss you man!

  2. Hi Chad. Hope you are well! You are such an inspiration to me. My husband was diagnosed with GBM in April 2012 also, I think either the week before or after you. I have been following your blog since then. You are so insightful and are so funny. I know it’s hard but you must keep going. One day at a time, and yes it is a chronic illness. I was talking to my husband recently and told him I feel like I’m living on the edge of a Wustof. A really big one! My husband said, at least you’re on the edge, you haven’t gone over yet. I had to laugh. Greg is doing great, he hasn’t had any recurrence since then. He’s on a ketogenic diet, takes metformin as a FAS and does biofeedback. He’s really positive and determined to stay well. It’s been very hard on me. Our son was just over 4 at the time and he’s 7 now. Therapy has helped me tremendously. Are you on a ketogenic diet? My husband also was enrolled in the ICT 107 vaccine trial. Hang in there and stay strong. Know that I’m thinking really positive thoughts for you.
    All the best,

    Sent from my iPhone


  3. It is hard sometimes…and thank you for saying so, because being completely honest about what we are feeling is sometimes (often!) our path to feeling beautiful and whole again on the yellow brick road to the Emerald City.

    You don’t have to bear the burden of being our inspiration–your gift is your ability to connect and help us to connect. “Only connect.”

  4. Wow, you are an inspiration to all of us! I am battling a different type of cancer and I think my blog will be entitled, “cancer does not make me a nice person!” I have journaled about some of the dumbest and most insensitive comments people have made to me and what my response WOULD have been if I could have come up with a witty response in a timely manner!!! I am blaming “chemo brain” ,

    You will be added to my thoughts and prayers, your courage and humor will give you whatever strength you need at the moment. I try to email each day TTBTF (things to be thankful for!). This week it included seeing the butter cow at the Iowa State Fair!!! Really how can that not bring a smile to your face!

    Take care of yourself Chad!!!

  5. Pingback: Searching For Inspiration | the BrainChancery

Say anything! This cancerful brain would love to hear from you...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s