Turns out when it comes to brain surgery, the 4th time = not a charm.
Well, I suppose it has had its charms… I mean, the surgery itself DID go extremely well: all the visible brain chance was removed, and I was able to wake up (yet again) with all my functionalities fully functional.
That’s lucky. I would be remiss to short-change those facts. Because those facts are a Real Big Deal (RBD). And I’m alive, which is another RBD.
Plus… the future looks bright if you look at it right. I mean, it could be that this was the last treatment I ever had to do for my glioblastoma. The chances of this are extremely small (this being glioblastoma, after all), but it could be, that I’m all done. I mean, what if I never had to do any treatments ever again? That’s a fun thing to think about. Wouldn’t that be something!
Honestly I wouldn’t mind having to do more, this is some serious shit I’ve got and I’m lucky to be alive at all… I think I’d just like a little break. A year off from surgeries would be nice. At least.
Because this one has been a bit of a pain in the ass.
It’s funny though, my experience with brain surgery #4 is probably actually way closer to what you’d normally expect from having brain surgery… i.e. it should be a bit of a pain in the ass.
Well now I know what that’s like.
As of today, I am feeling better. But I am recovering, still.
The headache was awful, and it’s still there a tiny bit, but I’ve got it under control with the meds, and it seems to be on the way out. As for the head leaking, that stopped for a couple days, which was an enormous relief– I mean as great of a party trick as it was, you don’t really want your face leaking brain fluid all the time. It’s a bit disconcerting.
So that stopped, which was nice, but then it kinda came back a teeny bit in the last 24 hours… which is, again, a bit of a pain in the ass.
But there isn’t much I can do, besides just taking it easy, and resting, and healing. And so that is what I am doing. (And it’s kind of driving me crazy. I mean, I am perfectly capable of lying on the couch all day, but I really kind of despise the notion of me lying on the couch all day. I’m hard on myself that way. So right now, for example, to keep myself from getting depressed, I am sitting in a chair. And typing! This my exercise for the day.)
One of the funniest questions I’ve gotten in the last couple of days (and amazingly, I’ve actually gotten it more than once) is:
“So what else have you been up to lately? “
This is a bit like digging yourself out of a collapsed mine shaft, and, face covered in black soot and still coughing coal dust, having somebody see you and say “Hey, what have you been up to lately! You know, besides digging yourself out of that collapsed mine shaft?”
I JUST HAD FUCKING BRAIN SURGERY AND MY HEAD HAS BEEN LEAKING FOR A WEEK, what the hell else do you expect me to be up to?! Learning to play the fucking tuba?
For the record: I have not been up to anything else lately. Just the recovering from brain surgery thing, which I think is pretty important and worth most of my attention.
Oh wait no– now that I’m thinking about it, I realize I’m totally lying. I have been doing something else, when my head is not pounding or dripping cerebral spinal fluid or I’m not watching “Blazing Saddles.” I actually have been moonlighting a little bit, from my comfy spot on the couch (and/or this chair), and getting some stuff done that I’m extremely excited about and proud of and would love to tell you about!
So what is it!?
If you’ve been following this blog, you might know that:
• I started a Non-Profit Foundation, called The Cancerful Foundation
• In partnership with the Foundation, we are making a movie that cures cancer.
• That’s right, we are making a movie that cures cancer.
• The movie is also a musical.
• Yes, I wrote a lot of the songs. George Gershwin wrote some of them too. (And some we wrote together. We have the same brain cancer, so it’s a fun partnership.)
Making this Movie-That-Cures-Cancer is the most exciting and wonderful and fulfilling thing I have ever done, or ever will do, in my life. I believe in this project so deeply and profoundly that honestly my biggest concern with all this brain cancer / head leaking nonsense is just being able to have enough time & energy to make sure that this thing happens. As soon as possible. Because it needs to happen. As soon as possible. Cancerful people need it to happen. It will cure them. It will cure all of us. It will change the way we think, and talk, (and sing!) about cancer.
And I am as sure of these things as I have ever been about anything in my life.
And the good news is, we are well underway! This thing is happening, and I will not be slowed down. The movie is written, and it is wonderful. The Foundation is running, and it is already starting to cure people.
And just in the last month, despite all the hospital trips and brain surgeries, myself and my wonderful Cancerful partners have made tons of progress on some key elements that will help us make this movie, and all of my cancer-curing dreams, come true.
You see, when you’re running a Cancerful Foundation, and making a movie that cures cancer, there are 2 primary goals that you need to achieve:
1) Getting a whole bunch of money
2) Getting a whole bunch of people to say “yes.”
And to help us achieve these goals, we’re putting together a beautiful pitch package that will explain the movie, and the Foundation, and our cancer-curing mission: a package that we intend to send out to pretty much every single human being in the entire world, to tell them what we are doing, and to ask them if they would like to help us out.
This package includes a short film that we shot the morning of my brain surgery, as I jogged to the hospital. It is going to be awesome. We are editing it right now, and I can not WAIT to show it to you. It’s funny, and inspiring (it actually made me laugh, and cry), and it’s gonna help us get a whole bunch of money, and a whole bunch of yeses.
When the short film is ready (in about a week or two), we will post it here, and I will ask you to forward it to everyone you have ever met in your entire life. (And ideally even people you haven’t met 🙂
And the other thing we have been working on, which is equally awesome, and which I am EXTREMELY PROUD TO BE ABLE TO SHOW YOU RIGHT NOW! is our brand new website for The Cancerful Foundation!
This website is the home for all things Cancerful. It is the hub for the movie, it is where all the music and the videos will live, and it is where we will keep you posted on the production as the movie cameras get closer to rolling!
And for now, this website is also (and this part is very important!) the place where — starting right now — people can make donations to the Cancerful Foundation to help us make our movie and cure the Cancerful!
People just like you!
And even people unlike you! Ideally, every kind of person there is– they can all donate! And they will! And we’ll be off to the cancer-curing races!
So please check our awesome new website. We already have some music from the movie on there, and there’s even a sneak-preview of the film we shot of me running to the hospital!
Just as important, you’ll find lots of information on the movie itself, as well as a bunch of other cancer-curing projects that we are already working on. One that I’m particularly excited about, that we’re going to get up & running really soon (just need to raise a little bit of money first!) is The Cancer Card. We’re making it a real thing. A real card, that people with cancer can really play, to help them cure their day.
Ahhhh I’m so proud and excited!!! So check it all out!!! And if anything on there gets you feeling even slightly inspired, please click the “DONATE” button up top– you can make a donation right then and there, right now, and that money will go straight to helping us cure cancer, straight away! (And since we are an officially IRS-registered non-profit charity, all donations to the Cancerful Foundation are tax-deductible!)
So THAT is what I’ve been working on. In addition to sitting on the couch. And digging myself out of a collapsed mine shaft and trying to get cerebral spinal fluid to stop flowing out of a hole in the side of my head.
And that’s why, today, despite my slightly achey-drippy head, I am a very happy man.
I am alive, and I am working on things that have the potential to help, and inspire, and cure, a lot of people.
And that’s pretty exciting. It feels pretty great.
In truth, it makes the headache and headleak seem pretty insignificant.
I think now I’ve earned the right to go lay down on the couch. 😉
Thanks for reading.