Did you ever just wake up on a random Tuesday morning, and think to yourself:
“You know what I’d REALLY like to do today?
What I’d REALLY like to do today is…
Have a nice, delicious breakfast!
Maybe some eggs, maybe some pancakes, maybe both… definitely some OJ and a really good cup of coffee.”
But then you think:
“Oh shit, I can’t do that, because I’m having brain surgery today and I can’t eat or drink ANYTHING! I can’t even have a damn glass of water!”
You’ve never had that happen to you on a random Tuesday morning?
Well, I have. In fact, that exact thing just happened to me this morning!
So color me extremely disappointed that I’m not having a delicious breakfast this morning. Not even a damn glass of water!
But let’s look at the bright side– after my sad realization about no breakfast, my next thought was “Oooo I get to take a nice long nap this afternoon!” (A six hour nap, to be precise. Whilst mine brains are being sliced & diced like pork roll and scrambled eggs. [Aw man, I’m hungry! I want some pork roll and scrambled eggs!])
Oh well. I’ll have breakfast tomorrow.
So anyway, let’s get over this big breakfast shock and move onto the brain surgery thing…
So I’m having brain surgery. NUMBER FIVE! (yup.) Around noon. Today.
On an empty stomach. (What a pain in the ass!)
No, but actually, breakfast or no breakfast, I’m kind of excited about the brain surgery thing.
Primarily, because 5 brain surgeries is cooler than 4.
But also, because it’s an option. And that’s why I’m doing it: because I can!
That may sound kind of twisted (there has been some debate around here if maybe I’m just one of those weird people who’s addicted to self-mutilation–in my case in the form of craniotomies), but what I really mean by “I’m doing it because I can” is this:
I’ve (still) got some brain cancer up there in my brain, as I’ve had pretty much continually for just over 4 years now, and it has grown a teeeeeeny little bit over the last six months or so. It’s growing really slowly, which is really unusual for glioblastoma. So that’s good.
But because it’s still there, and because it still is entirely within a part of brain that you can pretty much entirely remove without messing anything up, the thought is this:
“Hey, why not skip breakfast and just have brain surgery today, and get that fuckin’ thing out of there so we don’t have to look at it anymore??”
So that’s pretty much what’s going on.
It’s good that this thing has only been growing extremely slowly. And it’s very good that it hasn’t grown (or leapt) into any other parts of my brain– because there are MANY parts of your brain that you can NOT remove without seriously messing things up.
So while my little brain chance is still… let’s call it “slow and accessible,” we just decided last night to skip breakfast and have a go at it, while the going is good.
Speaking of going when the going is good, I just got back from some VERY good going!
Yesterday morning, I woke up in Montreal. (I had breakfast there.) The morning before that I woke up in France. (Also had breakfast.)
A couple mornings before that I woke up in England, before that Holland, and Spain, and… you get the point. LOTS of delicious breakfasts (mostly muesli, in fact.)
So I was on a trip! For a couple of weeks. Visiting some very lovely friends, in some very lovely places.
And it was wonderful. And I’m sure glad I went, when the going was good!
And I’m happy to be home, and since this is where I usually have all my brain surgeries (except for that one in Hong Kong), I figure what the hell, how ’bout another! Less than 24 hours after I arrived!
And in case you’re worried– don’t be. I’m quite sure that the going will still be good later this afternoon, after I wake up from my fifth brain surgery. And shortly after that, I hope to eat some muesli. Or pork roll. Or both.
PS: No, I’m not jogging to the hospital this time, wise ass. On an empty stomach? No way!