I’m Sick. (and I kinda like it.)

So I think I’m sick.  But I’m kind of digging it.  Which, if you’ve seen me squeezing all sorts of fun out of having cancer, may not surprise you.  But this time, it’s a little different.

Allow me explain…

The last couple of days, I’ve had a few new things going on (in addition to the litany of old things going on, [where by “things” I mean symptoms and side effects and, well, just general sick-ness.])

For example: yesterday, I was tired.  All day.  Like, weirdly tired.  But I’m weirdly tired all the time, so for me “weirdly tired” means really weird.  Like, supernaturally tired.  The kind of tired that you’d imagine only comes once a millenium, and requires A Thousand Years’ Sleep to cure.

So last night, I did all I could think to do with one night (not yet being sure I’ll have the luxury of 364,999 more), and I made sure to get a Big Damn Solid Dose of Good Night’s Sleep (a B.D.S.D.O.G.N.S.).  Which worked quite well (I clearly needed it, and the lovely new curtains my mom helped me put up worked like a charm in the morning).

But today… same thing!  Super tired.  Hmmm.  What the devil!  And no new meds, nothing unusual going on in the brain lately that would explain this Sudden Swing to the Super Slumberous.  Why the hell was / am I so pooped?

Speaking of poop (it’s relevant, so I’m going to), I think yesterday I made seven trips to the toilet.  Actually I don’t think, I know.  I counted.   Seven sit downs!  And another four just this morning– which would have actually been five if I had actually made it to the toilet in time for #2 #5.  (I didn’t.  Make it in time.  More on this later.  Consider yourself warned.)

So anyway, all this new shit was odd.  Both the sleepiness, and the shittiness.  I hadn’t eaten anything odd either.  So what the hell is/was going on?

Then this afternoon, it occurred to me…

Maybe I’m just SICK!

On top of everything else, maybe I’ve also got a Regular Person Illness (R.P.I.)… like some kind of flu, or maybe even a run-of-the-mill-non-genetically-engineered virus!  These things seem to be going around at the moment, and a bunch of people I know (including my doctor) have been laid low recently.  So maybe I’m sick!

And for some reason, this thought made me happy.  Which did seem vaguely twisted, even to me.  So I’ve been thinking about that, and here’s what I realized.

A few things, actually…

– It’s kinda nice, just as a change of pace, to have something wrong with me that has absolutely nothing to do with brain cancer.  I mean, it sucks — it still feels like being sick — but it’s not any worse than what I am already dealing with (which I’m learning to deal with a bit better, and more patiently, on a daily basis).

Plus– and this is the important part…

– With this kind of sickness– this kind of Old Fashioned People Gettin’ Sick sickness– all you have to do is get some rest, take it easy, and it’ll just… go away.

Holy shit.  It’ll just go away!?!?!

What a fuckin’ luxury!

No brain surgeries?  No experimental drugs injected into your skull… no weeks and months and (if you’re lucky) years of heavy dose chemotherapy…  no direct-brain radiation, no support groups, not even so much as one trip to the emergency room!

Just chicken soup and sleep and passing time with books and movies and it’ll just… go away!?!

Wow.

So I guess that’s why I like being this kind of sick.  I wish they were all like this!

The only real negative effects of this particular R.P.I. (so far at least) have been:
a) a totally sleepy wasted day yesterday, and
b) the aforementioned #2 #5 that wound up in my pants instead of where I would have preferred it to wind up (or down, as it were).

But even that little mishap lead me to take that really nice long shower I’d been putting off for a couple of days. (Look, when you’re as tired as I’ve been, even the thought of getting wet is exhausting, because it means having to get dry again.  So don’t judge).  And it was a really nice shower.  I washed my (lack of) hair and everything.  It felt great.  I should do that every day!  (Shower, not shit my pants.  And actually, we’re in a drought, so maybe I can still only shower every other day 😉 )

Anyway, where was I… oh yeah, so even this Unexpected Shitting of The Pants lead to an unexpectedly nice outcome.  Maybe I really do like being sick!

I mean, I don’t want to be sick forever or anything, but therein lies the beauty… I think if I just wait it out, this particular bug is just gonna fly the coop!

I might even miss it.

Well not really, but we did have some good times together.

I’m gonna go eat some soup and wait it out.


PS: If you suspect I am either forcing cheerfulness or just pathologically required to find positives in negatives, you and I are in perfect agreement.  I don’t know what’s up with that either.  And I offer my sincerest apologies to anyone who feels like shit right now because of the flu, or cancer, or having shat your pants, or whatever might ail you.

I’m not pretending it doesn’t suck to be sick, because it does.

But if it can go away (even if just for a moment), well now that’s something worth being cheerful about, isn’t it?

What a Summer! What…? A Summer?

Now that the summer of 2015 is (unofficially) over, I’m left wondering what it was like.  See, a few days before it started, on June 18th, I had my 4th brain surgery, and in the 11.6 weeks since then I’ve mostly been… well, recovering from that darned brain surgery.

Sure, I’ve had some fun, and I got a little sun, but I also spent a good amount of time in… 4 different hospitals in 3 different states.  I took at least 3 ambulance rides (woo hoo!), I experienced my first spinal tap, I had about 15 different individual fevers, I had a drain put in my brain, and I was hooked up to intravenous antibiotics for several weeks that were probably unnecessary and made me break out into hives.  What a blast!  (It wasn’t.)

But I don’t like to complain, so I’ll quickly shift over to the good news, which is this: Weirdo Medical Summer is now over, and I AM STILL HERE!  Woo hoo!  (That’s a real “woo hoo,” not a sarcastic one.)

Even better, during these last 11 weeks, I somehow managed to accomplish a bunch of stuff that I’m extremely proud of.  And am extremely proud to tell you about right now.

The first thing was, I ran to my brain surgery.  (For the 2nd time.)  Which was cool and everything, but this time, we filmed it!  And made a really cool little film out of it.  You may have seen a preview, but here is the real thing.  I hope you like it…

This film was made with the help and support of a wonderful team of friends and pros who donated their time, and I can’t thank them enough for their efforts.  My hope was that I could turn having to have brain surgery again into something good, and because of this film, I’m glad it happened!  And I’ll be even more glad if the film succeeds at its main purpose, which is to raise a bunch of money for the Cancerful Foundation!  (We were going to make a video of me asking for money sitting in a chair, but this seemed to be a little more fun and inspiring.)

Speaking of the Cancerful Foundation, the second thing I pulled off during my Sad Sickypants Summer was finishing up our WONDERFUL, CANCERFUL NEW WEBSITE!

WEBSITE-home-screen-shot-for-BLOG

If you haven’t seen the new website yet, please check it out.  There’s all sorts of info about what we’re up to and all the ways we’re hoping to cure cancer:
We’re making A Movie, we’re making a magical card that turns cancer into a perk (The Cancer Card!), and we’re making a website that helps people with cancer easily get the little things they could really use help with on a day to day basis (it’s called “Cure My Day“, and it’s basically a bridal registry for cancer patients.  Like: instead of china, a ride to the doctor on Thursday.)

Oh and I’m also going to start writing “Cancer!  The Manual!“– a (not Idiot’s) guide to the things that happen to EVERY Cancerful person that nobody ever talks about.  For example: some of your friends will completely disappear (it’s true).  And every day, somebody who cares about you or who you just bumped into at Starbucks will lecture you about some vegetable or supplement that you absolutely MUST eat “because my friend’s dog totally had a tumor and it totally went away in like 2 days with this stuff and the big pharma companies are just trying to make money off you with their poison!
Stuff like that.  And a lot more.  And it’ll be free.  And it’ll be funny.  I’ve got a good stash of cancer jokes.  And I have learned that Cancerful people like to laugh about cancer now and then, because it rarely happens, and it can totally cure the hell out of you for a moment.  And that’s what the Cancerful Foundation’s mission is all about.

So that’s it!  Wow, that’s a lot.

But in the spirit of Labor Day–  myself and the wonderful Cancerful teammates who are helping me (and who I can not thank enough for their dedication and hard work) still have a lot more work to do.

And we need your help!  Because making innovative new cancer cures ain’t cheap.  It’s definitely not free.  Well, except for the jokes.  Like the one where I filled the bag that was draining cerebral spinal fluid directly out of my skull with blue Gatorade, and asked the horrified nurses if there was something wrong with me.  (OK, I didn’t really do that, but that image just made me laugh, and I bet somebody out there with cancer will laugh at it too.  See, there’s a tiny cured second right there!)

So anyway, if I haven’t asked you already (if you know me, I’m sure I’ve asked you already, but forgive me for asking you again):
Please keep this cancer-curing train rolling at top speed by donating to the Cancerful Foundation!
There are links all over the place on this blog, and on our new website, and even in this series of words right here.
(Did you find it?)

See how easy it is?  You don’t have an excuse for not donating!  Other than simply not feeling like giving us money.  Which is OK, because it is your money after all.  Until it’s ours.  Or somebody else’s.  Like Starbucks.  Which tastes good, we get it.  (Yes, that was totally a backhanded comparison between choosing caffeinated beverages over curing cancer.)  Wait– is guilt a good way to get people to donate money?  I’m new at this, so if it isn’t, then please just ignore the fact that I said that Starbucks thing, and focus on anything else I’ve said or done that you find funny or inspiring and might get you to chip in a few bucks 😉

Plus hey– and I mean this– I deeply appreciate the fact that you’re reading this, and that you care enough to do so. That really IS enough, because it inspires me to keep doing this.  So I’m gonna keep doing this.

I just really want to make this movie happen, and all of the other cancer-curing stuff I’ve been talking about.  I believe in our Foundation and our mission, and I know how much we can help people with what we’re doing.  And nobody else is really doing anything like this, and– believe me– there’s a huge need for it.  For all of it.  And if we don’t do it, nobody else is going to!  So we need to do it!
Chop Chop Peacock, get it done!”  (That’s what I say to myself every morning after I chug my turmeric and cannabinoid oil smoothy.  No I don’t. ;))

So… we’re just asking for help.  No guilt, pushiness or cajoling intended.  Just the truth.  (And a little cajoling, to be truthful.)

We can really help people here.  We’ve already started.  I got an email from someone in another country saying that that video of me running made her friend (who has terminal cancer) smile for the first time in weeks.  And that’s just a preview of a preview of a preview of what we’re doing.  So that feels pretty good.  But we need to do more!  Think of how much more we can do!  And we’ve got the plan and the will– We just need some old fashioned “resources” (i.e., cold hard ca$h) to pull it all off.

And hey– if I have to have another brain surgery and do cartwheels to it this time to make an even stronger case for our Foundation and our mission, I am absolutely willing to… joke around about the possibility of doing that, and then let somebody quickly talk me out of it.

So to sum up…
I jogged to brain surgery for the second time.
Big frickin’ whoop.
Then I got sick.
Boo frickin’ hoo.
But now I’m feeling better, and motivated, and on a roll, and most importantly I’m alive!
Whoopty Frick’ Doo!
(That last one, not sarcastic.  But the other ones yes, sarcastic.)

And now I’m asking for money!
Yippee doo I hope it works!

cancer!!

 

MONEY CURES CANCER TOO!

Thanks for reading.  I’m gonna go to bed.

G’night from the Cancerful!